New Years’ Resolution Can Feel Like Pressure to Fundamentally Change Who You Are As a Person.

Episode Transcript: New Years’ Resolution can feel like pressure to fundamentally change who you are as a person.

New Years’ Resolution Hello beautiful people. I hope you’re all doing well. How did you all spend your holidays, I hope you really had some fun. Now talking about the holidays, and the new year and the resolutions, I thought I’d make this podcast about this topic.

So a few days back, a friend of mine sent me a post on Instagram that I absolutely loved. And it’s it was about the pressure we feel on you year about becoming a greater version of ourselves. And in that post, they, they put a small video of Elizabeth Gilbert, she’s the author of Eat, Pray Love, not that it’s important. But anyways, what she says, is absolutely wonderful. And so I’m gonna, I’m gonna say it here, you’re not required to justify your existence on earth through constant improvement, you’re not a fortune 500 company, you don’t have to show increasing profits, you don’t have to earn the right to be here, by putting yourself through higher and higher standards. You just get to be here. You belong here you are loved on Earth. And so when I saw this video, I don’t know, something was electrified inside of me. And and I think that this is a very, very, very important topic. So if, if we think about it together, why do we always want constant improvement?

The first thought that comes to mind is that, because we’re not enough the way we are? So when we’re constantly asking our body, or our selves, or our mind, or to do something new is that the old is simply not enough. And so even though we have the best intentions, whenever we’re sending the message to our bodies, that we are not enough, well, to our bodies and our mind, well, what they’re going to give us more of are situations that are going to show us that, no, we are not enough. So it’s like we’re, we keep feeding the same, the same pattern. So every New Year you always hear people, okay, I’m going to go on a diet, I’m going to lose weight, I’m going to stop smoking, I’m going to exercise more, I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do that. And of course, they all have the best intentions in mind. And most of them they start doing it. Some of them continue, but most of them stop. So let me throw this out here.

What if the smoking, the extra weight, the laziness, the procrastination, were a collateral damage of a deeper issue. That would mean that we’re trying to fix the problem by fixing the collateral damage, we’re not going straight to the root. So if we fix the problem in one way, but the root is still there, it’s going to manifest it in many other ways that are not going to be convenient for us. Right? So I feel that by putting all those resolution is like we’re, we’re putting even more how do you say you’re putting even more pressure on yourselves to perform and, and to be at your best! What if, what if this year we did it a bit differently? What if we dedicated this year to really listening to who we are, before we can decide what to change and what not to change? Before we can decide which road we want to take? Let’s really listen and see where we truly want to go. Maybe you want to lose weight because society thinks that a thinner people are prettier, but maybe you’re comfortable with your weight, and it’s not something you would like to do. I don’t know. But just take this year to think to really connect with yourselves to see really the patterns that are not serving you, and the patterns that are and instead of setting up goals, like I want to lose weight, or I want to do this or I want to do that, maybe you set up not goals, but a way of life. So if you would say for example, I would like to be fitter. That doesn’t mean that you’re gonna you need to go to the gym three times a week.

It means that maybe you need to pay attention a bit to what you eat a bit to how you exercise and how you think and create a bit more awareness in your life be more present with the things you do to see what suits you and what does not suit you. So that gives you a wider range of things that you can do, rather than saying I want to go to the gym three times a week. And then when you don’t, you will feel like a failure again, and then you feed that same pattern. And now we’ve spoken about it on a personal level, but it can be done with with the life you’re leading. So let’s say if you’re having a family, as a mom, you would say, okay, you know, I’m gonna have, we’re gonna do more, more of this as a family. And we’re going to do more of that.

And this is all great, but it’s like saying that what you’ve got right now is not enough. So let’s shift our perception of things, let’s shift at the ways at the ways we see things. So instead of thinking that our happiness is going to depend on exterior things, like having a nicer body, or having more family time, or smoking less cigarettes, this is going to make me happy. So I’m still focusing, well, I’m still putting my own happiness in hands of exterior situations. Does that make sense? So what we want to do is we want to own everything ourselves.

We don’t, you don’t want to keep it like that. If, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, doesn’t, we want to be able to be good guides for ourselves, we need to understand what’s the root cause of smoking, because for example, Smoking is an addiction. So an addiction is filling a gap of something else. So this is what we want to discover what the gap is. And once we fill that gap, then probably the smoking or whatever addiction we’re on would dismantle on its own. So the only thing I’m trying to say is like always, turn your observation inwards. No, no new year’s resolutions that are going to make you better people, you making yourself better people are going to make you is going to make you have much nicer experiences. All in all.

I hope this makes sense. I hope it speaks to you. And oh, wow, I just thought of something. You cannot use this as an excuse of not moving forward. Right? saying oh, well, you know, I’ve heard this podcast and, and she says that we shouldn’t do any new year’s resolutions. So you know, I’m just going to be doing what I’m doing always. That’s not what I’m saying. Okay, let’s just be clear on that. The only thing I’m saying is, do not put pressure on yourselves to be to be stronger, better, etc. No. Just accept things as they are. And maybe just understand yourselves a bit more. Be more compassionate with yourselves. Understand that your failures are maybe patterns, and maybe when the time is right, you’ll work on the patterns, you know, that’s all I’m saying. All right, beautiful people. I’m gonna let you go. That’s all I’ve got for you today. I wish you a great day, afternoon, evening, wherever you are in the world.

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